How To Actually Get Well from Wellness Blogs & Inspirational Quotes

The world is full of articles, infographics, and YouTube videos, claiming they have the secret to health and wellness. You only have to try a couple to work out that, in reality, no secret cure-all will make you feel like a superhero. However, that doesn’t mean that it’s not possible to be superhuman. In fact, it’s no lie to say that you – yes you, I see you – can feel infinitely better than you do right now.

Whether you suffer from chronic health problems or mental illness, stress at work or just feeling a tad sh*tty from time to time, there are life changes that can make you flourish in ways you can’t even imagine. I’m not going to say you can cure your health problems, but I do reckon you can feel….better!

better
/ˈbɛtə/
adjective
1. more desirable, satisfactory, or effective
2. partly or fully recovered from illness, injury, or mental stress.

 Still with me? Good! So, what I can’t do is make a list of yoga poses, crystals, and smelly oils and tell you it will all be ok. This is going to require some work on your part as well. How do I know? Because I’ve done it myself. I spent years in a bed-ridden state of despair, constantly worrying that my life would never improve. But I persevered, worked my ass off and eventually started finding happiness and health. That’s why I know that it’s possible for you as well.

Ready? Let’s do this.

1. Take Only What You Need
2. Speak to Your Doctor
3. Learn About Yourself
4. Share Your Experiences
5. Embrace Your Journey

1. Take Only What You Need

 There are countless wellness resources out there. Cultures across the world have been trying to find the secret to optimum health for literally thousands of years, so the well of techniques is deep. Trying to add every single one to your daily self-care routine is only going to end in disaster – trust me, I’ve been there.

 Healthy Isn’t One Size Fits All

‘health’ is an elusive concept. It’s not one thing for every person. Imagine yourself like a jigsaw with missing pieces. Improving health and wellbeing is about finding the specific piece that fits with you. That piece won’t work for anyone else, and theirs won’t help you either. It’s no use scouring through Instagram, trying to replicate the most smiley, sexy, together person you know. It’s definitely not smart to just buy every product that your chosen lifestyle influencer markets to you. What you need to do is try new things, experiment with yourself and honestly reflect on what makes you feel better in the long-term.

Avoid “Should Have,” “Would Have,” “Could Have”

 The word “Wellness” comes with a host of perceived expectation. You should be getting up at 6 am every day to run. You would feel better if you ate a clean-vegan-gluten-free-paleo-natural diet. You could already be happy by now if only you had managed to meditate every day for the last year. This kind of pressure is not helpful to anyone, and it’s certainly not the way to find true wellness.

You’ve probably seen people talk about ‘balance’ being the key to happiness; well this is what they mean. You’re going to f*ck up and have bad days, that’s part of life. Beating yourself up for feeling low is the exact opposite of wellness. Avoid the expectation and get back to the experimentation.

If you want to start running more, when does it feel the best? What days are you most motivated? What happens when you do push yourself to do a run?

These are the types of thoughts that will help you on your journey.

The Timing Must Be Right

I tried counselling when I was 16. I tried it again at 19/20. Both times it left me spinning out of control and, subjectively, worse than I was before. However, when I unwillingly had another go at the age of 24, it gave me everything I’d ever wanted. It made me understand myself, my past and my relationship with life more than I had ever before. The lesson to be learned here is that you are continually changing, and what you need from life is shifting.

When pursuing health and happiness, it regularly feels like nothing is working and there are no more options. The reality is that it might just be time to go back a few steps and retry some past techniques. You may think that is incredibly frustrating – it is! The best wellness tips are always like a double-edged sword. But it makes it extra sweet when you finally try something that really clicks with you.

So whether it’s yoga, qi gong, reiki, journaling, antidepressants or a new exercise plan – if it’s not going well, then ditch it! But don’t disregard it completely; it may just not be the right time.

 Takeaway #1

• If it feels right then go with it.
• Just because you’ve tried something once and it didn’t work, doesn’t mean it won’t serve you at some point in the future.
• Don’t feel bad because you’re not doing all the best things for yourself. Focus on one easy change that you feel positive about.

 2. Speak to Your Doctor

This is already getting confusing, right? How do you even begin to pick what to try? If you’re in the UK, then you’re lucky enough to have a free health service, which can act as a roadmap to navigate chronic and mental illness. Getting help from the NHS is a skill that you will eventually cultivate, but everyone struggles at the start.

Here are some tips to help you get the most from your Doctor.

Your Personal Medical Reference Book

Your Doctor knows a lot, but you are the king of your own wellbeing. The best way to get better is to use them as a reference book. Whenever you have a query about your health or your journey to wellness, get your Doctor’s opinion. You might not agree with them, but their perspective is invaluable for gaining a better understanding of you.

• Ask about your symptoms.
• Ask about health and wellness articles that you’ve read online.
• Ask them about healthy lifestyle changes you’re going to try
• Ask them about diagnoses or procedures that you don’t understand.

They can tell you how your ideas might interact with any chronic or mental issues you already have, and what changes to look out for to keep you safe. However, not every Doctor will serve you on your journey.

Finding the Right GP

 Your first point of call for illness is your GP. However, not all GPs are created equal. You can get great ones, and you can get…not so great ones. Luckily, it’s easy to tell the difference quickly. There are three main types of Doctors. 

• Doctors who believe they know better than you and won’t even listen to your ideas.
• Doctors who let you guide your own treatment entirely.
• Doctors who are willing to work with you to find solutions that actually help.

The one you’re looking for it type 3. Obviously, nobody got time for the stuck-up, high-brow ones who constantly tell you there’s nothing wrong. But it’s also not helpful to have a yes-man, who never tries to explore new avenues with you. A Doctor/patient relationship should be one of give and take. If you can work together, it can be a beautiful thing. If it isn’t, then just ask at your surgery for a new Doctor – don’t worry, this happens all the time, so no-one will find it weird.

Limitations of Modern Medicine

 While Doctors are fantastic for answering questions, they are limited to just one belief system. Modern Western medicine works mainly on the belief that illness can be cured using medication. However, you only have to have a chronic or mental condition for 5 seconds to know that pills are just one part of a much larger picture. Yes, medication has its place, but some conditions require a much more holistic approach.

Fortunately, most Doctors are smart and see the limitations in this outlook. Off the record, they’ll often discuss lifestyle changes and alternative treatments that will also have benefits. However, some GPs are more resistant to this way of thinking than others. Take this into considerations when choosing your Doctor. 

Takeaway #2

• Use your Doctor’s as a research tool. Always consider what they say.
• Find a Doctor who is willing to work with you and respects your opinion.
• Remember that the modern, Western health system doesn’t have all the answers – be willing to look elsewhere.

3. Learn About Yourself

 If you want to be the best version of yourself, then you’re about to start the most intense study of your life. Done your GCSEs, A Levels, or have a degree? This is going to be more vigorous. However, you end up with way more than just a piece of paper; you get a body, a mind, and a life that works for you. That is honestly priceless.

First, you need to start looking at your wellness more academically.

Trial, Error & Improvement

 Whether you do science, art, fashion – whatever – experimentation is critical. You never go into a project expecting to get perfect results the first time. Look at your health in the same way. Countless ‘get healthy’ theories exist and – as we clarified above – healthy is not one size fits all. Every wellbeing website offers you the next secret to thriving in life. Follow these steps to actually find benefits.

• Choose one lifestyle change to input – could be yoga, exercise, meditation, a new diet, therapy or even just drinking less coffee.
• Try and implement it into your daily routine for at least a few weeks.
• Review how you feel and any changes you’ve noticed.
• Decide whether you want to ditch it or make it a full-time commitment.

Do Your Research

 I cannot say this enough: never read something and take it as fact. Online wellness resources are great, but you can never guarantee they know what they’re talking about. This doesn’t mean you should disregard them altogether. Instead, if you find something interesting that relates to you then research it. A simple Google should usually tell if it’s an accepted idea or complete make-believe. If it’s a concrete fact then you should be able to find a link to the original source, whether it’s:

• A quote from an expert.
• A peer-reviewed study in a scientific journal.
• A personal anecdote from a first-hand account.

 It’s also helpful to check the other side of the argument. It’s easy to get caught up in ideas that validate our own opinions, without looking at the whole picture. If you want to find most helpful health and wellness tips, you need to understand all sides of the argument.

Learning Non-Judgmental Observation

 So, understanding the process is one thing, but how can you tell if it’s actually working? It’s impossible to feel deliriously happy all of the time, so how can we know that our wellness journey is progressing? Here is where non-judgmental observation is your best friend. Being objective about yourself is hard, so learning this type of reflection is a skill that you’ll need to acquire. I recommend the following three pursuits to become a master of self-awareness.

1. Take a moment at the end of each day to reflect on how it went. What did you achieve? What didn’t go as planned? Try not to place emotions on what happened, merely make a note and move on.
2. Learn to meditate. Meditation is the king of non-judgmental observation. It allows you to listen to yourself without being critical or naïve. If you’ve never meditated before then there are plenty of great apps – such as Headspace – and YouTube videos that will guide the experience.
3. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is way more accessible than meditation but follows a similar premise. It’s the act of just being, and letting whatever thoughts and feelings arise. The skill is not to judge your response; just be aware of what’s happening.

Non-judgmental observation is not something you can learn in a day, but it’s one of the most worthwhile pursuits available to you. If you can get the hang of it, your wellbeing journey will be significantly easier.

Takeaway #3

• Experiment with yourself. Try out different wellness techniques and make notes about how you respond.
• Always research new ideas before diving head first into something. Often, health fads can end up being counterproductive.
• Try to be objective about yourself, or – at least – practice non-judgmental observation when you can.

 4. Share Your Experiences

In health and wellness journeys, it’s essential to know you’re not alone. Battling demons can feel completely isolating; as if you’re the only one who’s struggling to overcome obstacles. Fortunately, you’re not. There are thousands of people out there trying to follow the same path. Together, you’re an army that’s near invincible.

How Storytelling Saved Our Species

 Historians have often discussed the importance of storytelling. Legend has it that the ability to share our experiences through stories is the reason that our species has been so successful. Consider this:

You’re chilling with your tribe, sitting around the campfire. One of your fellow tribesmen is telling you about how his homeboy saw an orange and black beast through the trees and went up to see what it was. Turned out it was a tiger, and he was attacked and died. A few days later, you’re walking through the jungle, and you see orange and black in the distance. Instead of going closer, you turn around and run the f*ck away. The story saved your life.

Today, the world is much more complex than escaping vicious animals and finding food, but the premise remains the same. The value we can gain from listening to other people and sharing our stories is infinite. For mental health and wellbeing, the experiences of others are invaluable. The ongoing dialogue between sufferers, and the ability to get feedback on your trials and tribulations, is one of the key aspects of recovery.

Power in Numbers

 Mental health and wellness is slowly being accepted as something to prioritize in life, but we still have a way to go. One of the biggest obstacles to getting better is Doctors, friends, parents, and colleagues who don’t believe you can – or deny that you have any issues in the first place. So, we hide our problems. We don’t mention them and spend our alone time suffering in silence.

When we talk about our struggles, we not only normalize them in our own lives, but we also help other people who are going through the same thing. I’ve connected with so many who I now consider my friends because I post about my issues on social media. Occasionally there are haters, but mostly it’s people messaging me to tell me they understand what I’m going through.

It can be hard to open up, but doing so won’t just help you, it will also help others around you. Mental health awareness isn’t the goal, but it’s a happy extra.

Finding Balance Between Talking & Listening

 We all have something to say. We could all talk for hours about our physical and mental health conditions. Sharing your experiences is infinitely beneficial, but you also need to ensure that you’re listening at least as often as you are talking. Part of the advantage of starting the mental health conversation is to benefit from what others have learned before you. We all have unconsciously found ways to exist and thrive, despite our obstacles. Listening to wellness tips from others may help you find new ways to cope.

We know it can be trying to listen to people telling you how to live your life. Our instincts can be to close up and convince ourselves we know everything there is to know. However, there are endless ways to improve your wellbeing. All you have to do is open your ears and open your mind.

Takeaway #4

• Tell your stories. Ignore the haters. Your words are invaluable and need to be shared.
• Embrace the mental health and wellness community. The movement is happening, and it’s time to be a part of it.
• Value the expertise of others. Listen to advice and honestly consider it, even if you don’t end up using it.

 5. Embrace Your Journey

 Finally, and perhaps most importantly, embracing the journey is the main secret to achieving optimum health. The reality is, you might never get exactly where you want to be. However, if you give up, you definitely won’t make it there. Every step you take will help in some way; every action will make you a little bit better. While you might never be perfect, let’s face it: no-one is. Following the path to wellness can still be one of the most important decisions you ever make.

Your Needs Will Change

This is a journey, not a destination. As you move through different decisions and lifestyle choices, you will find you need different things.

• Maybe you start with a healthy diet, but later realize that you can get away with the occasional treat.
• Maybe you’ve been exercising regularly, but discover you need to cut down the hours because it’s making you fatigued.
• Perhaps your favorite meditation stops giving you the same Zen feeling it once did before.

All of these things are ok; none of them mean failure.
Accepting that your needs will change is a huge step to take. Understanding that life is constantly shifting and evolving, and believing you have the tools to deal with whatever is thrown at you, is the ultimate goal in living a happy life.

 Changing is Growing; Growing is Learning

 A lot of people look at “change” in a negative light. They’ll make snarky comments about lifestyle choices.

“Oh, you’ve changed.”

“You were never like that before.”

“I’ll never change.”

This mindset is only harming you. The reality is that we all change. As you go through life and experience different things, it shifts your view of the world and the way you think. Subsequently, this changes your actions and the way you interact with life. If you’re not changing, then you’re stuck in a rut with your past self, unable to move forward. Embracing change is how we grow as humans.

It’s not realistic to say that you’ll spend perhaps 70 or 80 years on this planet and your mindstate will stay the same. Consider what you were like as a child; surely you’re not the same as you were then – so you have already changed. Accept that change will happen and that, at the end of the day, change is exactly what we need to live our best life.

The Love of Travel

 The most frustrating thing about ‘getting better’ is feeling like you might never achieve it. I’m well acquainted with the feeling of working my ass off, only to have another crash and be further away from my goal than ever. But somewhere down the road, a change happened. I became secure in the fact that it wasn’t about the end result, it was about the journey I was taking – and I’d fallen in love with that journey.

I loved the high of finding new exciting ways to live my life. I loved the down moments when I could do nothing more than take care of myself. I loved the moments when life, once again, felt like it was worth living. Even now, gradually, I’m learning to love the crashes and the invaluable lessons they teach me.

Honestly, for years ‘getting better’ felt soul-destroying. Eventually, I started to see the changes, no matter how minute they were. Now my life has transformed in ways I could never have imagined. My mental and physical health is better than it’s ever been. Yes, I still have crashes, but my love of the journey is so intense that I never let them hold me back for long. I’m always ready to move forward and start traveling again.

 Takeaway #5

• Don’t beat yourself up because your journey has taken an unexpected turn. Try to focus on the small things to get back on track.
• Don’t fear change. Instead, embrace it and seek it out wherever possible.
• Open yourself up to the possibility of falling in love with wellness, self-care, and self-love. So it no longer feels like a chore, but a treasured lifestyle choice.

At Your Happy Place, we want to help you, without pretending we know all of the answers. We want to be a place for people who have embarked on their own personal journey, but can’t translate the signposts. All our writers, artists and contributors have battled their own issues, and they’re all still here to tell the tale.

Through this project, we want to create a community that shouts to the world that getting better is possible. Modern life is incredibly stressful, and the internet and social media is only increasing that pressure. However, we can all thrive in our own personal ways.

If you want to join the happiness revolution then be sure to sign-up to our mailing list for regular updates and newsletters. Happy living!